From expectation & obligation to freedom & responsibility

“Look at other brother’s, how much they love their sisters.” said my mother to me, when my relationship with my sister was strained. It made me feel guilty. My inner critic said “You are not a good brother!”. This was not the first time my mother highlighted my inadequacy as a brother. Every now and then I was reminded of how I did not measure up to being a ‘good brother’ or a ‘responsible son’ compared to other brothers and sons of the world.

I am certain my mother did not do…

Taking a stand irrespective of the consequences

“Be a man and take a stand!”

Someone said to me many years back. “If I take a stand everything will be destroyed.” I responded to that person. As I said it, I could feel the cold grip of fear in my heart. Without getting into the details of this story, everything did get destroyed. Including what I thought myself to be. It was a good destruction. It led to my resurrection.

Standing out has been one of my biggest fears. There is comfort in being with others. Standing out means risking isolation…

Why it is necessary to have conversations that we don’t want to have, but are necessary to have!

“What to do?”

One of my biggest confusion has been, what to do, when something disturbs me in a relationship. Should I keep quiet and resolve the disturbance on my own? Should I tell the other person what is bothering me? Should I catch a plane to the Himalayas and live in a cave? What should I do??

This confusion becomes more compounded when you are an introspective person. Which I would like to believe I am. Also sensitive. (Okay, enough self-promotion!)…

The Art of Being

Have you ever tried to do nothing?

Just existing, without any outcome in mind. A rare individual would say “yes”. Most of us are constantly doing something, with the intent of achieving something. If we are not doing something, we are either depressed or have rich parents willing to indulge our lethargy.

Yet, if you care to notice, the most vital functions of your life are happening on their own. Your breathing, your heart beating, your blood circulation to name a few. Thankfully you are not required to put them on your ‘To Do’ list. …

A piece on a piece of me.

I can feel it right now. A dark hole in the pit of my stomach. An empty void that makes me feel I am Unloved. Unwanted. Unworthy. Alone. That something is terribly wrong with me. This emotion is not new to me. It has accompanied me since childhood. Writing about it while experiencing it indicates I have come a long way in becoming aware of it.

Rationally I recognize that my fear has no basis in reality. I also know that it will pass. But that does not make the sensation less real.

…

Seeing the Unseeable

I

God was bored one day. There was no one to talk, play or get angry with. She was the only One. As she gazed at her divinely manicured fingernails, she wondered what could she do to have some fun. Suddenly an idea struck her! Her face lit up to match the glow behind her head.

“Let me play hide and seek.” she said aloud. With that she closed her eyes and created the Universe within her. The galaxies, stars and Milky Way. She created the Solar System and a blue-green marble like planet called Earth. These…

Authenticity. Self-expression. Fulfilment.

I recently updated my Linkedin profile after a gap of many years. As I was going through my career trajectory of two decades, from my first job as a financial auditor to now, I reflected on what this journey meant for me. As soon as I thought of this, the title of Victor Frankl’s book “Man’s Search For Meaning” came to mind.

Yes, the entire journey has been a quest for meaning. To realize what is truly important for me. It has also been the journey of becoming conscious of what is my authentic self-expression, what gives…

Only Existence exists

“I love myself”

When you say that, are you one person or are you two? Because it implies two. One is the lover and the other is the loved. So are you “I”, the subject that loves. Or are you “myself”, the object that is loved.

The purpose of asking you this is not to confuse you. But to bring to your awareness that what you think yourself to be, is not who you really are. Your notion of being a separate individual with a past history and a hopeful future, is an imagination of your mind…