How seeking comes in the way of finding

Photo by Ksenia Makagonova on Unsplash

Imagine you were looking for something.

Something of great value. You looked in different places. You spoke to different people. You read many books. Hoping you will find what you are looking for in some place, person or thing.

But what if, what you are looking for is You.

Then your very act of looking will keep you from finding what you are looking for.

Ever since I can remember I had the quest to know the deeper meaning of life. “Who am I? Why am I here? What is the purpose…


A conversation about love, loss and beyond.

Photo by Maulik Shah on Unsplash

He was tall, well-built and had a habit of saying “Tension nahi leney ka, araam sey karo!”

I was at the taxi stand near Pune Railway station. I needed to reach Mumbai as early as possible. Luckily for me I found a taxi that was already filled with passengers. Only one seat was remaining next to the driver. He was the driver and owner of the car.

As we started our journey we got talking. “How many times do you do this trip from Mumbai to Pune and back?” “About four times a…


Accepting my sexual self

Published in Life Positive Magazine September 2021

When I thought of writing this article, it wasn’t about sex. It was about self-judgment. But when I delved deeper into my motivation for writing it, I realized it was self-judgment of my past sexual behaviour. It also occurred to me that most people shy away from talking about sex. Or accepting their sexual desires as normal. Which is unfortunate, cause if it wasn’t for sex, we wouldn’t be here.

When I first heard the word sex as a schoolboy I was fascinated to know what it was. I opened my small Oxford pocket dictionary. …


Finding faith that does not shake

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash

Recently someone reached out to me for counselling. He had lost a family member during the Covid wave. It was an untimely death as the person was in her thirties. The entire family had been praying for her recovery. After a prolonged stay at the hospital she died. The family was shaken by this sudden tragedy.

The person reaching out to me had lost faith in God. “What is the use of prayers, when what has to happen will happen anyway? And what is the use of doing anything when the outcome is beyond…


My changing relationship with the changing body

“I hated myself for not being a few inches taller. It’s difficult for me to accept how guys and their mothers rejected me on the basis of my height during all those matrimonial meets.”

“I lived a fairy tale life until for the first time I was called fat. People said “So what if she is good in academics, dancing and extra-curricular activities. She is fat.””

“I don’t have long voluminous hair like all my other cousins. I am tired of listening to their ideas of achieving healthy hair. …


How I learnt to express myself fully

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

There are two worlds.

The outer world of actions and events. And the inner world of thoughts and feelings. Most of us are focused on how to make our life better by doing something in the outer world. Rarely do we pay attention to our inner world. Even if we do, then it is mostly when the inner world becomes painful and unbearable.

We live in a culture of doing.

We are pushed from a young age to achieve something and become somebody. Doers and achievers are celebrated and rewarded. No one ever…


My learnings as a Teacher of Mindful Living for 1 year

Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

On 3rd August, 2020 I began the Mindful Living classes. I had no idea what I would be teaching. There was just an intense desire to make a meaningful difference in the lives of others. The only thing I had in mind was the topic for the first month. Know Thyself.

I was uncertain how many students would turn up for the class. For the past 5 years I had been a teacher at The Yoga Institute and getting students was not my responsibility. For the first time I…


From darkness to light

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

Dear Life,

Today is Guru Purnima. It is the day when the disciple pays homage to his Guru. Since my Guru is none other than you, I would like to express my gratitude to you on this auspicious occasion.

First and foremost I am grateful for giving me life itself. All my life is based on the fact that I am alive. I have no idea how I ended up in this body. And what is giving life to this body. But had I not been alive, there would be nothing to write about.

I am…


From expectation & obligation to freedom & responsibility

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

“Look at other brother’s, how much they love their sisters.” said my mother to me, when my relationship with my sister was strained. It made me feel guilty. My inner critic said “You are not a good brother!”. This was not the first time my mother highlighted my inadequacy as a brother. Every now and then I was reminded of how I did not measure up to being a ‘good brother’ or a ‘responsible son’ compared to other brothers and sons of the world.

I am certain my mother did not do…


Taking a stand irrespective of the consequences

Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash

“Be a man and take a stand!”

Someone said to me many years back. “If I take a stand everything will be destroyed.” I responded to that person. As I said it, I could feel the cold grip of fear in my heart. Without getting into the details of this story, everything did get destroyed. Including what I thought myself to be. It was a good destruction. It led to my resurrection.

Standing out has been one of my biggest fears. There is comfort in being with others. Standing out means risking isolation…

ajayakalra

Personal growth insights. Simplified.

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